Taking Moment To Reflect & Wonder Why
I have been sitting since last night reflecting on my life. Remembering growing up and how simple and loving life was. Having such wonderful relationships with my brothers. Then one day, boom, you lose one. Not to death, but the way it is it may as well be, but to something for a ridiculous reason, that started out simple, and I tried to make it right, and was blasted. Before I knew it, things were going downhill fast. Words were said, I apologized, no apologies from the other party though, and then it became a nightmare. It‘s been over two years of torture. I can't help but sometimes wonder, how someone you have known since birth, and loved and cared for and did everything together with all growing up could suddenly turn on you.I wonder how can one listen to so many lies and twisted truths that one could actually think that your own flesh and blood who has never wanted anything but happiness for you can turn on you.? How can one believe when there is hard evidence, although they refuse to look at it.?Everything was quiet....at least I thought...until I started blogging when trying to open a business...Everything I started...from writing on Ezine articles...I was accused of copying what they did...fortunately....it shows who joined first and started first...I was trying to establish a cleaning business, registered, bonded, insured, only to have blogs written about me saying things about my husband and criminals, and investigate, all unfounded, I have no record, and followed the law to obtain my business. Then suddenly, a business called something else, under their name, came to light, but was put as FULL CLEANING...I gave up...I let them beat me...didn't care...they never followed through...it was all a sham to beat me to the ground...I ran a home daycare, and things were written that women who did that couldn't get a real job...think again...4 years at home...three weeks of searching, I secured a wonderful position where I am already moving up....Many things including fake emails...lies and other things....occurred...will not go into major details...In the midst of all this baloney...our young cousin passed away...we all had to attend the funeral...no words...then our Grandfather a month later was suddenly ill....and my sibling and I spent the day at their house...we spoke some...my mom burst into tears because we hugged....all the while we are there and he was dying...my blog was stalked...other things occurred...no relevance now...than the horrifying funeral...no words...my mom was so upset...and when we had the luncheon...he couldn't even sit down with his Mother and siblings...and under the breath you hear the words (I am not sitting with them) from the one on his arm...our mother was crushed...but hey...we moved on...THAN............I have been lied about, accused of things I never have done, stalked to no end, but when told to stop, I have charges filed against me, with mountains of proof, that are now securely tucked away for future reference should it ever come up. I had to counter file when the last straw became trying to stalk my blog with hidemyass and it failed, I showed the Police all the evidence, and they said I can press serious charges. I chose not to, I respected my sibling and the children. Mediation occurred, I cried my eyes out, with all my proof it was not me and it was the other way around, I begged to get the family back together, but then, walking out the door in tears, it was later said, I had a nasty attitude and brought nothing with me. A lie, I even had my laptop in my bag to show it online. Then later, I was accused of reporting their website as spam and it was shut down. Well first off, that takes a long time, second, what they didn't know is when I got home we had a black out of our entire town for 24 hours, and my husband’s car was burglarized. I have proof of that as well from the Township. Later, it was said I called the gas company to report their website using their content, one, I had no idea which gas company they used, second, I called and spoke to one by one all the way to the higher up, to find out no report was ever filed, no calls, no nothing, another lie told to my sibling...I tried to remove the countersuit of the harassment in my town, only to be told...NO you have to come in....I called and they yelled at me...and thought it was the other party...telling me I told you, you have to come to court today...I said hold on...I am the Plaintiff, I never called you......Oh..well she called saying there was a restraining order, she faxed it...and they said...no that is No contact through internet...it's different...I begged to drop it...and then word got out that I was lying I could have done so over the phone...I said really...pick up the phone...call the court...and ask yourself...you will find out...NO we had to both appear...so I went to court...she no showed...they wanted to make an arrest...I said NO...I am dropping this.....please reschedule...they did...we showed...this time..I came empty handed...said I am done...with ALL OF YOU...through tears...I even had to be dropped off at court...no car then...Then it was said...I had an email with me at court that my mother gave me about what my sibling said....which I didn't have...never saw it...and even my mother knows that...and she said...although he said to tell you...he was so mean I would never show you something like that...so she knew that was a lie....I dropped it...I moved on....thought...finally...over......it's quiet....Then months later...I was accused of reporting my cousins Facebook for underage, I didn't even know he had one...and didn't care if he did...a mysterious email came back to my cousin...listing my name as the reporter...Well FOR ONE....Facebook does not release that information and two...since when do they spell names with lower case letters and spell receive...i.e..instead of ei..?????????......DUH...I replied to the original email I was forwarded...guess what...not a valid Facebook email...I contacted Facebook...and they advised me they NEVER release names due to privacy...I even made a fake profile for my underage daughter...reported it...and got the same email format...NO NAMES involved...the writing was on the wall.....and the person who gave an idea it was me to my cousin, before they even got that stupid email...was none other than the same person who has been bothering me...and I have had no contact...words or issues for months...ok...drop it..whatever floats your boat...during investigations, it was found that Fake emails can be generated by certain sites, using any email you want...Well I had been accused of sending emails...that I never sent...well I then knew how they came about...and it’s simple to track them....I had them investigate...but again...for the sake of the kids..I said to hell with it...Funny thing...an unfortunate event, brought my sibling to call me, not the other way around...and we talked...cried...laughed and he even said... (because they were divorced and apparently...I was to blame for the remarriage not taking place right after court) that they were getting married again...I was so happy and said...I am glad you are working it out....well soon after...we didn't speak again once they were back together..Not on my end...I would always love a talk...and then he would flip out on me...saying you know what you did...wishing me dead...and saying the most hurtful things...funny though...he could never say what I did...So a few times...he called me screaming to do something about the same thing we spoke of before...I tried but I could not..but when I tried to call him for help for the same issue...he screamed at me.....I want nothing to do with you...a few text fights....phone fights...never contact me again...I hate you...so again...I walked away....Then it got quiet again...thank god...and I went to a Bridal shower in July, the other party was invited too...a no show on her end...oh well...who knows...not my problem...well that very same night after pictures appeared on a mutual friends wall it was found out that on May 25 my daughter made an event on Facebook for my big 40...some couldn't attend the date..So the very next day she made it a week later...so for two WHOLE months it was planned...well I commented under the Brides picture in July from the shower as I was in the pictures...very same day...I am told there was an invite to an event...on the same day as my two month planned party...mother torn...already accepted mine...and was blasted for not attending a party for a child...so I took the high road...informed all my guests, if you could please come the following week as I wanted no conflicts...my mother attended the childs party and they all agreed...well of course...that day was the Hurricane...so the big party was cancelled...but I didn't care...Why...because my mother and two of my brothers showed...and we had the most fun ever...even with the loss of power...we laughed and laughed...and enjoyed it for a full 24 hours....the best Birthday party of my life.....Quiet again...than...the wedding...to hear...the other party could not go because I would be there...well at least I got some words and conversation with my sibling that day in October...he looked handsome...was cordial...but had to leave early...but it was nice...This Thanksgiving...I called him...big mistake...just to be sure our Mother got home ok....well I was blasted...I didn't say too much...wasn't on the phone more than a minute..hung up and sent him a text on what an ass he has become.......of course his end...an elaborated story was told....but the call was made out of concern and nothing more.....but that was the LAST and FINAL time I will ever call, email or text...even if the kids are sick...(He is one of my kids Godfather...but we are having her baptized again even though she is 17 to award her a new Godfather) no matter what and even if I am dying (which he doesn't care, it hurts..But I can't waste my life worrying or being upset over it...I have a life to live...) I am NOT going to contact him....I noticed something weird on Facebook last week.....won't elaborate...and it was no coincidence...I checked...and found out...and then I further realized he could very well read my wall...and even others if they were friends with my friends...so I locked it down...Friends only....I never wanted to take this measure but I blocked him.....today though...I mistakenly unblocked when I was trying to check something out to make sure about the other issue...so now I must wait 48 hours to re-block...and I WILL...but my wall is locked up to Friends only...I just won't comment on anyone else's page..I feel if you hate me so much...why bother doing these things.....you don't want anything to do with me...why read my wall...why try so hard to see it...or allow others too as well...If you want to know about me...pick up the damn phone...I am not talking about you...making comments...or doing anything to disturb your life....I would always talk and always be willing to rectify any situation...it's in the past...it's over...you can't change it...you just need to move on and get past all the hatred and anger....My life has changed....I learned a lot...I secured a full-time job that I absolutely love and it's close by...my husband was promoted.....and is moving up farther and farther at his job...he is on salary and a vehicle from the company is coming...we are working on things for the house...a trip to the Poconos in March...new furniture...a brand new car for me...I am out of the house 10 hours a day...I have no time for nonsense...for gossip...for arguing and fights...and the sad thing is...after not even a year of marriage...I find out...they are seperated...that saddens me...and I hope they can work it out.....he still doesn't talk to me...and all that since at least I know is before Thanksgiving they have been apart....I hope they can work it out...I really do...Because, I just want to live...grow...and be the best I can be.....and have everyone live healthy, loving and happy....Today I leave the wondering why behind me...they can go through any lengths to get to me...it just will not work...I am not out to fight...I am not out to destroy...there has been and will be no reading or trying to find out what’s going on...when people try to do something and pin it on you...the truth will always come out...they don’t know where you are...or what happened when that something they try to setup occurs...therefore...you only create your own trouble...If either ever read this...hope you finally realize...that anything I say or do...HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU...any comment on Facebook or blog post....or anything said to others...is not about you...FIGURE IT OUT...THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU...YOU ONLY WISH IT DID....With that...I vented...I could actually write a book with many sequels to this story...the things I didn’t share were awful....but maybe one day...I will just do that...if it doesn’t stop...but I am closing my eyes...I am now blind...I see, hear and know nothing...and truthfully...I don’t want to know.....It’s over...it’s done...but should you need to know something...dial me direct...don’t go through someone or something else...All I know is...you should know...that someone that YOU WERE ALWAYS close with....growing up...and in adulthood...would never do the things you were told...Enough SAID....
|
