http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com http://blogcopy.com http://blogcopy.com/int/fpix.php?bd=21jr en-us Mon, 20 May 2013 22:37:02 +0000 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=3pzipty Tue, 12 Feb 2013 00:05:16 +0000 their adult children often experience some problems in their relationships. For
the parents, the change from being the primary influence to something less
in the child's life isn't easy. For the adult child, the roles become blurred.
Are my parents still authority figures? Friends? Something in
between?  What about how they interact with my children? My
in-laws?Various studies have highlighted
several areas in a parent-adult child relationship that could cause
problems:

Differences in
communication styles
Lifestyle choices of the
adult child
The way grandkids are
being raised
Political and religious
differences
The employment status of
the adult child
How the household is run
and maintained Parents wouldn't be parents if they
didn't compare what they see happening in these areas with how the child was
raised. The child wouldn't be considered a mature adult if he or she hadn't
developed some differences from the parents. There may be a shared DNA, but each
of us is unique and each responds differently to situations and what life throws
at us.It is a given that there will be some
rough spots between parents and their adult child. But, a blog reader asked that
I look at some ways that may help parents improve this important relationship.
My research to prepare for this post lead me to several sources that were
remarkably consistent in their advice. Not all of these suggestions will
apply in your situation or even be workable. But, it would be wise to think
about each point listed below and determine if a particular answer fits your
situation.Accept differences.
This is probably the most important suggestion and the toughest. Your
adult child is not you. As he or she grows life experiences will result in
changes that you may not fully approve of. At this stage of the game it isn't
your job to approve. It's your responsibility to accept
them.Don't judge. At
least not out loud. Obviously, this closely follows the first suggestion.
You are no longer judge and jury.
The child is looking for
approval, acceptance, or at least tolerance for what they have done. They are
not looking for you to tell them what they are doing
wrong.Timing is not under your
control. While the child may still need and solicit your input and
guidance, it will be less frequently than you may want or think necessary.
Interactions of this sort should not be initiated by you. You may not
see your grown child as often as you'd like. Remember, he has his own schedule
and life.Respect new traditions and ways
of doing things. The way your adult child and his significant other or
family celebrate a holiday, decorate the house, plan their vacations, even
dress themselves may not be your way. Remember, it is their way and deserving of
your acceptance.Blending two families can be
tricky. If married your child is now part of two
families. He or she must attempt to keep two sets of parents happy. That can be
quite difficult. Take the high road and don't insist on a perfect balance of
time and attention. That will only make things tougher on your
child. Respond to questions or pleas
for help like you would any other adult, not your child. When I read
this in more than one study it struck me as a crucial part of having a
healthy relationship. Do you talk with your adult child like you would a
co-worker, or a friend? Or, do you talk at him? Unsolicited
advice-giving  or lecturing won't work on another adult. Why would you
think it would work on your grown-up child?Learn good listening
skills. This is something that can improve all our relationships, not
just with an adult child. Most of us, myself included, are thinking
about our answer while the other person is talking. We aren't truly listening to
what they have to say. I made reference to a particular skill called reflective
listening in an earlier post. It is a way of listening that will instantly
improve any relationship in which you apply it. Click here if you'd like
to know more. Decide that a healthy
relationship is more important than the disagreements. Do you want to
score points and win the argument while losing the war? Accept that your
adult child is not under your control anymore. Accept that he or she is an adult
with opinions, ideas, and beliefs that may differ from yours....like most of the
rest of the adult world. That acceptance will gain you a much better shot at
having the  healthy, nurturing, and loving relationship you
desire.If your
adult child hasn't really grown up yet, the challenges you face are very
different. This isn't the post to tackle that issue. But, I can refer you to
this link which may help you with the
concept of boundary setting when your generosity is being taken advantage
of.Personally, I can report that these
suggestions work. In the case of our grown daughters my wife and I have
been extremely fortunate. Areas of conflict and differences have been
very minor. Nothing has taken place to harm a tremendously close bond between
parents and kids. In fact, both girls moved back to Phoenix to be close to us
(and other friends & extended family).I can't tell you exactly why we have
escaped any problems so far or claim we never will. We have tried to keep most
of our opinions to ourselves. We have respected their choices and allowed them
to build their own lives. While we may question some things that occur, we only
do that in the privacy of our home, not in front of them. One thing we do is actively look for things we can
do together. Picnics, watching football or sporting events together, movies
at a theater or at a home or apartment, seeing plays and musicals together,
meals out...any excuse to spend quality time together in a relaxed and enjoyable
setting goes a long way to smoothing over the bumps that are going to
occur.Thanks to Don, the
reader who asked that I explore this topic. It is important and worthy
of our thoughtful consideration. It has been helpful to me to look at all
the pitfalls and problem areas that can arise. I sincerely hope that something
in this post helps you make your relationship with your adult child
all it can be. If you an are adult child attempting to improve the relationship
with your parents, much of this can be helpful to you, too.Comment time. Did I gloss over or
miss any important areas in this type of relationship? Have you struggled to
build a meaningful bond with an adult child? What if the parents and adult child
live in separate parts of the country...does that create special
challenges? I encourage
your sharing thoughts and ideas.



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Posted by Bob Lowry

Email ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to Facebook]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=3pzipty http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=1vu0nvq Mon, 11 Feb 2013 22:31:16 +0000
An recent article by Patricia Marx in The New Yorker magazine detailed the very expensive steps many well-to-do retirees are taking to help them with this transition: hiring retirement coaches. She calls them cheerleaders for a team of one: you. Sometimes the goal is to find a new career path, but just as often it is to develop a plan to make retirement as close to perfect as money can buy.

In a process not that dissimilar from employments coaches, the client is asked all sorts of question about what makes him or her happy, what they would do if money were no object, and what a perfect life would look like. Various personality tests may be administered to help pin down your level of satisfaction in areas as diverse as career, marriage or relationships, fun, personal growth, and financial issues.

Over the course of meetings both in person and on the phone that may last months, the retiree is helped to be "the person you allege you want to be." Retirement coaches don't judge or analyze, they act as an expensive support person. Ms. Marx cites fees that range from a few hundred dollars to $150,000. The author talks about a few of the major figures in this industry that are located right here in Phoenix.


Hold on, I can do this!

Well, that caught my attention. I live in Phoenix. I used to be a consultant. Since there are no guidelines, I can be an "expert" in retirement. I can find some personality tests on-line if I need one for someone who wants my advice. One of the most influential retirement coaches owns a Lear jet to fly in clients. I can't do that but Greyhound still has pretty attractive rates.

So, I thought about what I could do to start raking in the big bucks from those who can't figure out what to do with their free time. I could have an expensive seminar at one of the resorts in town where I have some snazzy Power Point shows about gratification and finding your passion. I could have a special phone line installed so clients could reach me whenever a crisis of confidence hits. I'd  need to brush up on the proper lingo, like "core values" or "clarified goals."

I'd probably have to upgrade from my 4 or 10 year old cars if I have to meet someone at the airport. My house isn't set up for meetings so I'd have to arrange for an office in one of the executive suites around town. Oh, and I'd need a corporate name: "Bob's Satisfying Retirement" isn't going to cut it. Someone who pays me $10,000 a month for my thoughts expects a snappy company name.

Now, this is getting exciting. I tell Betty we can afford that trip to Europe next year. I'll take care of the grandkids' college costs. That old rug downstairs will be replaced.

Then reality strikes: I've been giving this information away for the last few years on this blog. All anyone would need to do is read old posts, for free. True, I wouldn't be talking with anyone on the phone and I couldn't agree to be only one person's retirement coach. But, that is a small price to not pay for world class insight and advice.


Not really


OK, Ok...my tongue has been firmly planted in my check for the last few paragraphs. There really are very highly paid retirement coaches who help people figure out what they should be able to figure out on their own. But, I'm not one of them, nor do I want to be.

I'd love to have some advertising on this blog to help cover my costs. But, my reasons for blogging on satisfying retirement are not monetary. I do it as a creative outlet. I do it because I enjoy it. I do it as a way to help others. I do it for the tremendous friends I have met along the way. I do it for folks who send me letters of appreciation and support.

So, big-time retirement coaches in Phoenix, you can relax. You'll get no $300 an hour competition from me.]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=1vu0nvq http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=1vu004q Mon, 11 Feb 2013 18:09:20 +0000 after your mental and physical well being begin to suffer is not wise
either. I found several excellent web
sites that might help you take a fresh look at your situation to determine if
your problem requires action.What
are some of the signs that help you know it is time? The site, HelpGuide.org has a short list that may help you decide if you
are on the road to burnout at work:
Every day is
a bad day.
Caring about your work
or seems like a total waste of energy.
You’re exhausted all
the time.
The majority of your
day is spent on tasks you find either  dull or overwhelming.
You feel like nothing
you do makes a difference or is appreciated
At stress.about.com I found a burnout
quiz. Answer the
twenty questions and the results are summarized to help you determine if you are
at risk for at work burnout. Scientific? No. Something I'd use to decide whether
to retire or not? No. Helpful to look at your situation? Yes. Just by answering
the questions you have the chance to think through your
condition.At the site, stressdoc you will find a good, basic,
description of the four stages of burnout. Written by a licensed clinical social
worker, I found his overview quite logical and helpful.The Mayo
Clinic web site has an excellent review of the subject. For example, there
is the suggestion to ask yourself these questions:
Have you become
cynical or critical at work?
Do you drag yourself
to work and have trouble getting started once you arrive?
Have you become
irritable or impatient with co-workers, customers or clients?
Do you lack the energy
to be consistently productive?
Do you lack
satisfaction from your achievements?
Do you feel
disillusioned about your job?
Are you using food,
drugs or alcohol to feel better or to simply not feel?
Have your sleep habits
or appetite changed?
Are you troubled by
unexplained headaches, backaches or other physical complaints?  


 
The
site continues with overviews on what causes job burnout, who is most at
risk, the consequences of ignoring the problem, and importantly, how to handle
it.]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=1vu004q http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=1vtz8a8 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 14:51:51 +0000


Work
Burnout: How Do I Know if I'm Getting Toasty?

Labels: Blogging, Employment, Family, Finances, Financial Planning, Health, Learning, planning for retirement, Relationships, Retirement, Retirement planning, Working
A few weeks ago a reader asked me to
address the issue of work burnout and how it affects the decision to retire.
In September 2011 I did take a look at the issue with the
post,  How do you know when to retire. Many of the reasons listed
were related to job dissatisfaction and unhappiness.Since
this subject is a very important one I decided it was time to take a fresh
look. To retire just because you have had a rough stretch at work or you have a
strong urge to chuck it all is usually not wise. Launching a
satisfying retirement takes planning and is a process that
should begin well before you accept your last paycheck.At
the same time, staying employed after your mental and physical well being
begin to suffer is not wise either. I
found several excellent web sites that might help you take a fresh look at your
situation to determine if your problem requires action.What
are some of the signs that help you know it is time? The site, HelpGuide.org has a short list that may help you decide if you
are on the road to burnout at work:
Every day is
a bad day.
Caring about your work
or seems like a total waste of energy.
You’re exhausted all
the time.
The majority of your
day is spent on tasks you find either  dull or overwhelming.
You feel like nothing
you do makes a difference or is appreciated
At stress.about.com I found a burnout
quiz. Answer the
twenty questions and the results are summarized to help you determine if you are
at risk for at work burnout. Scientific? No. Something I'd use to decide whether
to retire or not? No. Helpful to look at your situation? Yes. Just by answering
the questions you have the chance to think through your
condition.At the site, stressdoc you will find a good, basic,
description of the four stages of burnout. Written by a licensed clinical social
worker, I found his overview quite logical and helpful.The Mayo
Clinic web site has an excellent review of the subject. For example, there
is the suggestion to ask yourself these questions:
Have you become
cynical or critical at work?
Do you drag yourself
to work and have trouble getting started once you arrive?
Have you become
irritable or impatient with co-workers, customers or clients?
Do you lack the energy
to be consistently productive?
Do you lack
satisfaction from your achievements?
Do you feel
disillusioned about your job?
Are you using food,
drugs or alcohol to feel better or to simply not feel?
Have your sleep habits
or appetite changed?
Are you troubled by
unexplained headaches, backaches or other physical complaints?  


 
The
site continues with overviews on what causes job burnout, who is most at
risk, the consequences of ignoring the problem, and importantly, how to handle
it. From personal experience I can say that I
did suffer from many of the symptoms of job burnout for two years before I
retired. My radio consulting business was in serious decline for two major
reasons: I had stopped trying to learn anything new in my field and was content
to just offer the same solutions to client problems that had worked for the
previous 15 years. I simply wasn't motivated to put in the effort to "grow"
my knowledge, and that meant a slow death for the
company.Secondly, I was sick of the travel, being away from
home all the time, and knowing my marriage and family life were suffering. I saw
no reasonable way to continue doing my job while protecting my relationships.
So, my wife and I decided it would be best to close the business and take a very
early retirement.It is important to note that this decision was not
made hastily. For the better part of a year I struggled with the financial
aspects of retiring at least 5-7 years before I thought I should. Betty and I
discussed all the pros and cons of my retirement and what affect it had on her
work, too. My personal identity was tightly wrapped with the business. I had no
hobbies or passions waiting for me. But,
the decision was one of the most important I have ever made. I was on the road
to ruin and needed to get off before i crashed my life and my marriage. Work
burnout is real and powerful. Just be sure you have thought everything through.
A satisfying retirement does not follow automatically.]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=1vtz8a8 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2swoc9l Mon, 11 Feb 2013 07:23:58 +0000


How
Do You Know When to Retire?

Labels: Financial Planning, Health Care, planning for retirement, preparing for retirement, retire, retirement advice, Retirement blog, Retirement planning

"When should I retire" is a
question I hear a lot. Comments left on the blog or e-mails filling my
inbox ask for help in knowing when it is time to call it quits. The answer I
give is usually the same: For your individual situation, I have no idea.
Retiring from your present full-time job to begin your satisfying
retirement is one of the more important decisions you will make during your
lifetime. There are so many factors to consider that you must put in the time
and effort to come to the best answer for you.I wrote the  following post about
6 months ago. In looking it over I think the information is valuable enough to
repeat now without many changes. I have a lot of new readers who may not have
seen this the first time. If so, I urge you to add your comments at the end.
Fresh input is very valuable to all of us. If you remember
reading this post when first published, I hope a second time will spark your
thinking about one or more of the points raised.You know it is
time to retire when....You dread going to work
everyday. You are tired and dispirited. Everyone has an off day or a
few days every now and then. But, if that feeling is present pretty much all the
time, you may have reached your limit.You are being asked to do more
work for a less money. This is the hidden message in that last
productivity memo you received. To preserve your job you will have to accept a
salary cut and pick up the slack of those unfortunate souls who got a pink slip.
For the short term it may be in your best interest to accept this. But if the
situation begins to look semi-permanent, you may have second
thoughts.You feel the essential "you" is
slipping away. There isn't enough time for you to do what satisfies you
and makes you happy. You find yourself doing things that make you uncomfortable.
Your world has shrunk to work-sleep-work.You can't wait to get home to
work on a project or new passion. Closely tied to the "you" reference
above. All your thoughts revolve around after work hours. There never is any
time to do that thing you really love.You complain to anyone who will
listen (and even many who will not) about work. Spending your energy
and life in a negative place increases your stress and shortens your life. It is
also a quick way to get fired.You have saved enough to live
without a regular paycheck. You have run the numbers so often your
calculator is melting. There are solid income streams that make you feel you can
do this. You have thought through contingencies. You have thought about worst
case scenarios. The numbers still work. You feel confident in your financial
planning and long term situation.A loved one is very sick and
you'd rather spend your time with that person while you can. Whether a
parent, child, relative, or best friend, there is no do-over if that person
isn't likely to be with you through your retirement. Do you feel strongly that
person needs you right now? Your health is beginning to
slip and you have things you want to accomplish while you still can. In
this case you are on the other side of the fence. You are sure you will not be
physically or mentally able to do what you'd like to do if you wait too long to
retire. You decide it is more important to enjoy your freedom while you have it,
even if it means a more limited lifestyle.You have affordable
alternatives for acceptable health insurance and care. This question is
hard to answer at the moment. Everything seems to be in a state of flux. But, if
your health coverage through work will continue, or your Medicare and
supplemental policy are working well you are better off than many. Plan to spend
much more than you think you will. If the budget still works you have dealt with
one of the biggest hurdles to a satisfying retirement.You are excited about making a
major change in your life (where you live, how you spend your time)
Change is life. A life without change is in a rut. Change can be stimulating,
exciting, terrifying, and necessary. Sometimes you just have to shake it up and
that thought gets your blood racing.Your self-identity isn't
defined by your job. You have a life and and sense of self worth not
dependent on work. This is important. There are few things sadder than someone
who retires and discovers he has no life outside of work. If you have at least
some friends who are not co-workers, enjoy hobbies or other activities you are
much closer to being ready to leave the job.What do you want to do with the
rest of your life? When do you want to do it? Aren't those the most
important questions? When you can answer them you may be
ready.Which of these questions and statements
fit your situation? If you are retired, which ones were most important to you
when you made the decision? Retirement today is quite different from a
retirement lifestyle of even 10-15 years ago. You may plan for more work. You
may want to stay in your home as long as possible. Sun City holds little appeal.
You may be chomping at the bit to spend a few years overseas on mission work.
You are ready for a new phase of your life, not for your life to end in a
whimper. Your thought: retirement  only the beginning of a new part of my
life.How do you know
when to retire? You just do.]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2swoc9l http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=1vtwdi8 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 01:18:37 +0000


Relationships
between Parents and Adult Children

Labels: Family, Happy Retirement, planning for retirement, preparing for retirement, Relationships, retire, Retirement, retirement advice, Retirement blog, retirement information, retirement lifestyle, Satisfying Retirement

Not surprisingly, parents and
their adult children often experience some problems in their relationships. For
the parents, the change from being the primary influence to something less
in the child's life isn't easy. For the adult child, the roles become blurred.
Are my parents still authority figures? Friends? Something in
between?  What about how they interact with my children? My
in-laws?Various studies have highlighted
several areas in a parent-adult child relationship that could cause
problems:

Differences in
communication styles
Lifestyle choices of the
adult child
The way grandkids are
being raised
Political and religious
differences
The employment status of
the adult child
How the household is run
and maintained  Parents wouldn't be parents if they
didn't compare what they see happening in these areas with how the child was
raised. The child wouldn't be considered a mature adult if he or she hadn't
developed some differences from the parents. There may be a shared DNA, but each
of us is unique and each responds differently to situations and what life throws
at us.It is a given that there will be some
rough spots between parents and their adult child. But, a blog reader asked that
I look at some ways that may help parents improve this important relationship.
My research to prepare for this post lead me to several sources that were
remarkably consistent in their advice. Not all of these suggestions will
apply in your situation or even be workable. But, it would be wise to think
about each point listed below and determine if a particular answer fits your
situation.Accept differences.
This is probably the most important suggestion and the toughest. Your
adult child is not you. As he or she grows life experiences will result in
changes that you may not fully approve of. At this stage of the game it isn't
your job to approve. It's your responsibility to accept
them.Don't judge. At
least not out loud. Obviously, this closely follows the first suggestion.
You are no longer judge and jury.
The child is looking for
approval, acceptance, or at least tolerance for what they have done. They are
not looking for you to tell them what they are doing
wrong.Timing is not under your
control. While the child may still need and solicit your input and
guidance, it will be less frequently than you may want or think necessary.
Interactions of this sort should not be initiated by you. You may not
see your grown child as often as you'd like. Remember, he has his own schedule
and life.Respect new traditions and ways
of doing things. The way your adult child and his significant other or
family celebrate a holiday, decorate the house, plan their vacations, even
dress themselves may not be your way. Remember, it is their way and deserving of
your acceptance.Blending two families can be
tricky. If married your child is now part of two
families. He or she must attempt to keep two sets of parents happy. That can be
quite difficult. Take the high road and don't insist on a perfect balance of
time and attention. That will only make things tougher on your
child. Respond to questions or pleas
for help like you would any other adult, not your child. When I read
this in more than one study it struck me as a crucial part of having a
healthy relationship. Do you talk with your adult child like you would a
co-worker, or a friend? Or, do you talk at him? Unsolicited
advice-giving  or lecturing won't work on another adult. Why would you
think it would work on your grown-up child?Learn good listening
skills. This is something that can improve all our relationships, not
just with an adult child. Most of us, myself included, are thinking
about our answer while the other person is talking. We aren't truly listening to
what they have to say. I made reference to a particular skill called reflective
listening in an earlier post. It is a way of listening that will instantly
improve any relationship in which you apply it. Click here if you'd like
to know more. Decide that a healthy
relationship is more important than the disagreements. Do you want to
score points and win the argument while losing the war? Accept that your
adult child is not under your control anymore. Accept that he or she is an adult
with opinions, ideas, and beliefs that may differ from yours....like most of the
rest of the adult world. That acceptance will gain you a much better shot at
having the  healthy, nurturing, and loving relationship you
desire.If your
adult child hasn't really grown up yet, the challenges you face are very
different. This isn't the post to tackle that issue. But, I can refer you to
this link which may help you with the
concept of boundary setting when your generosity is being taken advantage
of.Personally, I can report that these
suggestions work. In the case of our grown daughters my wife and I have
been extremely fortunate. Areas of conflict and differences have been
very minor. Nothing has taken place to harm a tremendously close bond between
parents and kids. In fact, both girls moved back to Phoenix to be close to us
(and other friends & extended family).I can't tell you exactly why we have
escaped any problems so far or claim we never will. We have tried to keep most
of our opinions to ourselves. We have respected their choices and allowed them
to build their own lives. While we may question some things that occur, we only
do that in the privacy of our home, not in front of them. One thing we do is actively look for things we can
do together. Picnics, watching football or sporting events together, movies
at a theater or at a home or apartment, seeing plays and musicals together,
meals out...any excuse to spend quality time together in a relaxed and enjoyable
setting goes a long way to smoothing over the bumps that are going to
occur.Thanks to Don, the
reader who asked that I explore this topic. It is important and worthy
of our thoughtful consideration. It has been helpful to me to look at all
the pitfalls and problem areas that can arise. I sincerely hope that something
in this post helps you make your relationship with your adult child
all it can be. If you an are adult child attempting to improve the relationship
with your parents, much of this can be helpful to you, too.Comment time. Did I gloss over or
miss any important areas in this type of relationship? Have you struggled to
build a meaningful bond with an adult child? What if the parents and adult child
live in separate parts of the country...does that create special
challenges? I encourage
your sharing thoughts and ideas.



Email
this • Email
the author • Add
to del.icio.us • Digg
This! • Share
on Facebook • Stumble
It!]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=1vtwdi8 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2cd9hzj Sun, 10 Feb 2013 21:40:44 +0000 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2cd9hzj http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=yr408d Sun, 10 Feb 2013 15:35:48 +0000
          * Falling down is part of LIFE...
          *Getting back up is LIVING...]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=yr408d http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2cd8av1 Sun, 10 Feb 2013 15:11:36 +0000 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2cd8av1 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2cd7bl1 Sun, 10 Feb 2013 11:30:19 +0000 home, always run to greet them with a kiss; *Never pass up the opportunity
to go for a joyride and smile; *Allow the experience of fresh air and the
wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy;*Take naps;*Stretch before
rising;*Run, romp, and play daily and play ball; *Thrive on attention
and let people touch you; *Avoid biting when a simple growl will do; *On
warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass; *On hot days, drink lots
of water and lie under a shady tree; *When you're happy, dance around and
wag your entire body; *Delight in the simple joy of a long walk; *Be
loyal;*Never pretend to be something you're not; *If what you want lies
buried, dig until you find it; *When someone is having a bad day, be silent,
sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2cd7bl1 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=46ioet9 Sun, 10 Feb 2013 07:43:50 +0000






Life Lessons From A Dog



Labels:
Blogging,
Family,
friendship,
puppy training,
Relationships,
Success,
Time Management




Recently, I asked my wife, Betty, to give her thoughts on some aspects of the satisfying retirement we have been living for the past 12 years. Her posts were well received and generated lots of good comments.




Hold it...It is my turn!
 

I think Bailey, our dog, became a little jealous. Several times since those posts have appeared she has forced her way unto my lap while I attempted to use the laptop. In her own subtle way she was letting me know she had some things to say. Since she has no thumbs to hold down the shift key, I had to type for her, but I think this captures the heart of her message to us all:

*When loved ones come home, always run to greet them with a kiss; *Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride and smile; *Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy;*Take naps;*Stretch before rising;*Run, romp, and play daily and play ball; *Thrive on attention and let people touch you; *Avoid biting when a simple growl will do; *On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass; *On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree; *When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body; *Delight in the simple joy of a long walk; *Be loyal;*Never pretend to be something you're not; *If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it; *When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.



Thanks, Bailey.  Actually a friend of a friend sent this list of what a dog could tell us. It has been floating around the Internet for quite some time from some unknown source. It is hard to argue with this simple plan for happiness and contentment.  Here is another dog story that may or may not be true. But, no matter, again it teaches us a good lesson:


Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure as they felt that Shane might learn something from the experience.The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him.

Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.

We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay around as long."



Remember:

          * Falling down is part of LIFE...
          *Getting back up is LIVING...
          * Don't complain about growing old…
           *Not everyone gets the privilege

 

Have a great weekend.]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=46ioet9 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2cd67sj Sun, 10 Feb 2013 06:17:56 +0000 to give her thoughts on some aspects of the satisfying
retirement we have been living for the past 12 years. Her posts were well
received and generated lots of good comments. 





Hold it...It is my
turn! I think Bailey, our dog, became a
little jealous. Several times since those posts have appeared she has forced her
way unto my lap while I attempted to use the laptop. In her own subtle way she
was letting me know she had some things to say. Since she has no thumbs to hold
down the shift key, I had to type for her, but I think this captures the heart
of her message to us all:*When loved ones come home,
always run to greet them with a kiss; *Never pass up the opportunity to go
for a joyride and smile; *Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in
your face to be pure Ecstasy;*Take naps;*Stretch before rising;*Run,
romp, and play daily and play ball; *Thrive on attention and let people
touch you; *Avoid biting when a simple growl will do; *On warm days,
stop to lie on your back on the grass; *On hot days, drink lots of water and
lie under a shady tree; *When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire
body; *Delight in the simple joy of a long walk; *Be loyal;*Never
pretend to be something you're not; *If what you want lies buried, dig until
you find it; *When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and
nuzzle them gently.
Thanks, Bailey. 
Actually a friend of a friend sent this list of what a dog could tell
us. It has been floating around the Internet for quite some time from some
unknown source. It is hard to argue with this simple plan for happiness and
contentment.  Here is another dog story that may or may not be
true. But, no matter, again it teaches us a good lesson:

Being a veterinarian,
I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The
dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very
attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he
was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and
offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we
made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for
six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure as they felt that Shane might learn
something from the experience.The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my
throat as Belker's family surrounded him.Shane seemed so calm, petting
the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going
on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed
to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or
confusion.We sat together for a while
after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are
shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I
know why."Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next
stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the
way I try and live. He said, "People are born so
that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the
time and being nice, right?" The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already
know how to do that, so they don't have to stay around as long."
Remember:
          *
Falling down is part of
LIFE...          *Getting
back up is
LIVING...          * Don't
complain about growing
old…           *Not
everyone gets the privilege]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2cd67sj http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=3pz9wyg Sun, 10 Feb 2013 02:48:23 +0000           *
Falling down is part of
LIFE...          *Getting
back up is
LIVING...          * Don't
complain about growing
old…           *Not
everyone gets the privilege]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=3pz9wyg http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=1faefwo Sun, 10 Feb 2013 02:04:18 +0000 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=1faefwo http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=i7n3kt Sat, 09 Feb 2013 22:13:25 +0000 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=i7n3kt http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=3pz75ng Sat, 09 Feb 2013 10:19:43 +0000 home, always run to greet them with a kiss; *Never pass up the opportunity
to go for a joyride and smile; *Allow the experience of fresh air and the
wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy;*Take naps;*Stretch before
rising;*Run, romp, and play daily and play ball; *Thrive on attention
and let people touch you; *Avoid biting when a simple growl will do; *On
warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass; *On hot days, drink lots
of water and lie under a shady tree; *When you're happy, dance around and
wag your entire body; *Delight in the simple joy of a long walk; *Be
loyal;*Never pretend to be something you're not; *If what you want lies
buried, dig until you find it; *When someone is having a bad day, be silent,
sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=3pz75ng http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=yqy0lv Sat, 09 Feb 2013 08:59:29 +0000






I Want to Retire Now!



Labels:
Blogging,
Creativity,
Employment,
Financial Planning,
Health Care,
planning for retirement,
preparing for retirement,
Relationships,
retire,
retirement advice,
Retirement blog




Your voice and your mind scream: "I am tired of working. I am tired of the commute. I am tired of waking up each morning wondering if I still have a job. I am tired of watching the stock market bounce around like a crazed kangaroo. I want to retire NOW!" 

To quote a former president, I feel your pain. I know what it is like to be more than ready to start a new stage of your life, a stage that promises the possibility of a re-birth and a renewed joy in living. I know what it is like to really, really want a satisfying retirement.

Of course, if you read almost anything related to retirement in your daily paper or on the Internet, you are probably scared...scared that you will never be able to retire. Retirement is a concept that doesn't make sense anymore, according to many. I am in the "not true" camp. Read on.

Did you read the post, How do You Know When to Retire? from a few weeks ago? I summarized some of those triggers that tell you when to seriously consider the move.

So, let's pick up from there. You have answered the questions from that post. You have talked with your spouse or significant other about what you are contemplating. You have read this blog for awhile and feel comfortable in your decision. The final straw was the article in Money Magazine and on CNNMoney.com. You are absolutely convinced if that guy in Arizona could build a satisfying retirement so can you. 

I am that guy and I am here to tell you to go for it. As a final review, let's look together at a few of the last minute questions my experience suggest you ask:

1) Can you sleep at night with your financial resources and plan? There is no such thing as a perfect financial plan. There will never be a time when something doesn't throw a wrench into your carefully crafted budget. The last few years have confounded even those who make a living from this stuff. But, you must feel confident that you have anticipated most situations. You have what you need, plus. You have worked the figures under different scenarios and you are still OK. Maybe not flush, but OK.

If that is where you are, you should be good to go. Could a world-wide crash put all of us in deep trouble? Sure. But, if that happens your job would disappear along with everything else so it wouldn't matter if you had retired. If you believe you have done the best you can do to anticipate your future demands on your resources, then you can sleep soundly.


2) Do you have a budget that takes into account inflation and unexpected emergencies? Retirement doesn't end the basic laws of economics. Inflation will continue and emergencies will arise. No one comes home from a day at the park and expects to find 4 inches of water on the floor from a broken pipe. But, it happens. Would such an occurrence render you homeless or could you handle a biggie like that? Do you have enough liquid assets to stay afloat (pun intended)?

At the center of your financial plan must be a budget that allows for change. What can you cut if need be? What would you like to increase if the circumstances presented themselves? Are you forgetting to budget for expensive things like new cars, hearing aids, large medical cost increases, or assessments on that condo in Palm Springs?  Believe it or not, I completely forgot to budget for travel and new cars. Adjustments were made and we are fine, but it was quite a shock at the time!

3) Does your partner agree with this move? Your being home more will change the dynamics of your relationship. Roles and responsibilities will change. From the voice of experience, trust me. Work out the "ground rules" and expectations before retiring. I urge you to read two earlier posts about the need to think through how your life might change when one half retires: Who is that Person Sitting Beside Me?  and You Owe it to the Person You Love.

If your partner has real problems with your plan to retire my advice is to work it out before making your decision. If his or her resistance is not swayed by your logic and begging, it might be wise to delay your move for awhile. I can't think of anything more fraught with tension than a retired person at home with someone who strongly disagrees with that status. Of course, if you are single, you can skip this worry.


4) Do you have hobbies, passions, and interests outside your job? A lot of us are so wrapped up in what we do for a living, we have no other life to replace that. The first question everyone asks when meeting a new person is, "What do you do?"  They mean how do you earn a living. That is how we define who and what we are.  When you retire, the possibility exists that you will lose your sense of self. Without a job to define you, what will you do to fill your time and satisfy you?

One of the leading causes of dissatisfaction with what should be a satisfying retirement is boredom. Some folks go back to work for the simple reason they don't know what else to do. Don't let that be your fate. If you already have a hobby or two, interests in all sorts of activities, even a passion for something then you will be fine. If you have nothing to turn to, develop at least a few interests before retiring.

It is absolutely true that you are very likely to find all sorts of opportunities and interests open up to you when you are retired. Your creativity can soar. You will discover sides of yourself you never knew existed. But, during the initial phase of a year or two, you will be much happier if you have stuff to do.

5) Are you prepared to battle the health care mess? Besides the budgeting and planning part that I referred to earlier, there are other things for you to face in this area. Paperwork and red tape can overwhelm you. At times you will conclude that no one is listening and no one cares. That isn't true, but, the medical establishment is so stressed that you are really on your own to get much of the medical help you require. Medicare rules are likely to tighten as Washington accepts that we are broke, putting more burdens on the patient. You will have to develop unending patience and a belief that you are your best advocate.


I hope the above 5 points didn't discourage you. They just happen to be reality that all retired people face at one time or another. To know about them ahead of time is your best preparation. If after reviewing your reaction to these cautions your feeling is still, "Yes, I'm ready and I want it now," then take the leap.

The first ten years of my retirement lifestyle have been amazing. There have been down periods and scares that kept me awake at night. But, there have been the highest highs and the biggest personal growth spurts of my life. I have spent the past decade discovering how to make this journey as smooth and productive as possible. I wish you the same.

If you have questions or reactions to what has been written, please leave a comment or send me an e-mail. I figure I have another 20-30 years of a satisfying retirement ahead. It's never too late to learn!


My satisfying retirement is featured in October's Money Magazine. After you've read that material, I'd be more than happy to talk with you about your situation and how you can achieve your goals. Click the e-mail link above. I'd also very much appreciate your purchase of my e-book. Information is just to the right of this post.]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=yqy0lv http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=39fs2re Sat, 09 Feb 2013 02:38:43 +0000 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=39fs2re http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=3pz5ggy Sat, 09 Feb 2013 02:06:21 +0000 http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=3pz5ggy http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=i7ixnb Fri, 08 Feb 2013 23:59:33 +0000 Retirement

How To Retire and Experience The Lifestyle You've
Always Wanted]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=i7ixnb http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2swdyb3 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 21:02:17 +0000



Hold it...It is my turn!
 

I think Bailey, our dog, became a little jealous. Several times since those posts have appeared she has forced her way unto my lap while I attempted to use the laptop. In her own subtle way she was letting me know she had some things to say. Since she has no thumbs to hold down the shift key, I had to type for her, but I think this captures the heart of her message to us all:

*When loved ones come home, always run to greet them with a kiss; *Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride and smile; *Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy;*Take naps;*Stretch before rising;*Run, romp, and play daily and play ball; *Thrive on attention and let people touch you; *Avoid biting when a simple growl will do; *On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass; *On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree; *When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body; *Delight in the simple joy of a long walk; *Be loyal;*Never pretend to be something you're not; *If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it; *When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.



Thanks, Bailey.  Actually a friend of a friend sent this list of what a dog could tell us. It has been floating around the Internet for quite some time from some unknown source. It is hard to argue with this simple plan for happiness and contentment.  Here is another dog story that may or may not be true. But, no matter, again it teaches us a good lesson:


Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure as they felt that Shane might learn something from the experience.The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him.

Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.

We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay around as long."



Remember:

          * Falling down is part of LIFE...
          *Getting back up is LIVING...
          * Don't complain about growing old…
           *Not everyone gets the privilege

 

Have a great weekend.]]> http://blogcopy.com/~satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com?copy=2swdyb3